The Talk

One of the unique things about having so many friends with Stage IV cancer is that you’re able to have those really tough conversations so many avoid.  Talking about death and dying.  Talking about heaven and what happens when we die.  What legacies we want left.  How we want our funerals.


One of the last conversations I had with Michelle before she entered hospice was about Heaven.  I shared a conversation I had with another friend who inspired a brilliant analogy which I shared with Michelle.  First, think way back to high school, for some of you this may be harder than others. 😉  Remember what it felt like to be in high school?  Remember your friends, the dances, the sports, the bullies?  Those teen-age years it felt like everything revolved around you and high school.  Then, once you graduated, you discovered a whole huge world out there!  Some entered the work force.  Some went to college.  Some went in the service.  New friendships formed.  You were able to pursue your dreams and follow your heart.  You weren’t defined by who you were in high school.  I’d venture to say you couldn’t pay 99% of us to go back to high school and relive those years.  Also, as we got closer to graduation, we had “senioritis” and couldn’t wait to get out.


I think this analogy is so aligned with my view of life and Heaven (and, trust me, I’ve had plenty of time to think about both).  Right now, so many of us are caught up in whom we are now.  Job titles.  Volunteer roles.  To-do lists.  Committee memberships.  The neighborhoods in which we live.  The vehicles we drive.  Everything revolves around the chaos of now.


I’ll share with you what I told Michelle…I hope when my time comes, I have senioritis and I am able to “graduate” to Heaven quickly.  I think once I’m there, I’ll wonder why I tried to stay on earth so long.  In my heart I believe Michelle and so many other friends are there and instead of a graduation party, they are celebrating their Welcome Home party.  And, I know they’ll be there to greet me…when my time comes.


I met with my oncologist today and will have a scan mid-June to check on things.  For now, I’m able to stay on the daily oral chemotherapy.  I have a few LEGENDARY things in the works for June, and I’m looking forward to sharing them with you.



Living legendary as a mom with Stage IV breast cancer. Author of Learning to Live Legendary and What You Might Not Know: My Life as a Stage IV Cancer Patient.

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