Days like today are painfully heartbreaking. About 5 weeks ago my mentor and big sister in cancerland was told by her oncologist “there’s nothing more we can do” and entered hospice. And, even though I’ve been bracing myself knowing her time would come, getting the phone call doesn’t make it any easier to hear that she’s gone. I believe she’s celebrating at her own Welcome Home party, surrounded by her loved ones who have gone before her. My heart is broken knowing I’ll never see her incredible smile again. It absolutely sickens me to know her four boys (ages 8-16) will spend the rest of their lives with a gaping hole in their heart. Whoever says cancer is a “blessing” is lying. Cancer is vile. Cancer is a thief and a murderer. Cancer is the ultimate betrayal of one’s own body.
While I wish I could take credit for the brilliance of this quote, it was written by another young Stage IV woman. I couldn’t agree more, especially today.
Cancer is not a battle that we win or lose. It is not our fault or a sign of weakness. We are not responsible for our cancer outcomes. The crapshoot of cancer and recurrence can NOT be controlled. Celebrate yourself for each time you, despite all the trauma of cancer, treatment, and the mindfuck of “survivorship”, choose to love, live, lust, laugh… We are not a success story based on our cancer progression or not. We succeed when we are courageous enough to keep walking forward even with missing parts, severe pain, addled brains, and broken hearts.–Dr. Erica Bernstein
I ask that you please keep Michelle’s four sons, husband, family, and friends in your prayers. Please keep praying for a cure.